June 26, 2007

Graduate student exams…

Posted in Work at 10:53 pm by a11en

Well, tomorrow morning I sit a pretty nasty examination.  My preliminary examination.  Four professors (admittedly of my choosing) get to sit and nail me on my work.  They get to ask me questions out of the blue, and I get to fumble and “um” and “ah” my way around to some crude answer.  Likely to not know the answer at all.  I’m insanely stressed.  I guess I got myself into this.  There’s really no other way to move forward than to have this exam completed.  I just hope it ends the way I hope it does, and not with me whimpering in a corner and planning a career as a sign-holder for the local hot-dog establishment.

Pretty freaked out.  You see I don’t have the benefit of the classes in my field that most other students have.  I switched focus half way through my degree… ugh.  But, I just couldn’t live with myself if I whimped out and quit just because the going was going to get rough.  So, it’s gotten rough.  And here I am- in a strange field, trying my best to do good work and learn what I need to know.

I’m reminded of Ecclesiastes- there’s nothing new under the sun.  Vanities of vanities… we set ourselves up to believing that this work is critical, extremely important to our existence, etc… in the end, I’ll be fine even if I don’t pass.  Life goes on, and the sun comes up in the morning.  If I do pass, the pain is only to get worse.  🙂  But, eventually, I hope to make a good living doing something I love to do.  If I can get through this exam, I’ll be started on my way to doing just that.

So, let’s hope I pass!  🙂  Send up prayers or well-wishes as you see fit.  I’ll let you know how it goes on the flip-side…

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